Can't help you too much on the initial thrust of your post, Suthurn, but I do have one piece of advice: When you decide to buy your tickets to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, buy them at the concierge desk of any major hotel in Monterey (we bought ours at the Hyatt Regency), where they will give you two consecutive days for the price of one. Also, with tickets in hand, you can walk right to the front entrance and bypass the lengthy lines.
Turns out, one day was enough for our two-year-old, so we gave the tickets to another couple with a young child that we met who were planning on visiting the next day.
Have a wonderful time.