"Your qualifications are superb, your experience is just what we need, and your communications skills are top-notch. You would be an tremendous asset to the company. But, Mr Szybuisquc, we already have someone with your name. It's especially surprising that you are both called Pyimern. Since you won't fit in our email system, we cannot offer you the job."

Apologies to everyone named Pyimern Szybuisquc.