Although we all know that "the crew's principal job is to assure our safety," I like when the pilots and FAs introduce humor into their announcements. Consequently, I find most of your announcements perfectly acceptable (ok, probably not the ones looking for a wife, asking about a grown man naked, or the comment about SF).

I was on one flight on which the pilot made all of the announcements as if he were piloting a stagecoach at the turn of the century (19th to 20th, not 20th to 21st). It was very humorous.