Welcome to FlyerTalk, pjt49!

I haven't been to the United Club on IAH, but I've been to the crown lounge (*S vs. Priority Pass). What I can tell you about the Crown Lounge:

* it has an open bar, you can serve yourself as much alcohol as you want (within reasonable lines, of course)
* has a soup of the day. Usually asian specialities.
* It is very quiet. People are very respectful and there's not a lot of noise. However, it may get crowded sometimes, when there's a lot of flights
* The only food you can get are snacks and pastries. It makes it perfect as a breakfast lounge, but later in the day when you want to have real food it doesn't help much.

I hope these are useful and that someone can compare to the United Club. G'luck!