"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to United 768 to Boston, the greatest city in the world. We will begin with preboarding followed by group 1, which has a special lane. Then group 2, which has its own special lane. Then followed by group 3-5, which aren't as special and share a lane. Please board only when you're group as called as the scanner will shock you otherwise."
"Also, happy valentines day everybody. I always forget about this holiday as I'm forever alone"