I don't have experience trying to get Marriott to let me have Gold even though I didn't quite meet the "Fast Track" requirements. My best guess is that if you don't get the nights, you won't get the status. I'm not sure why Marriott would want to give out the status unless you can show you can meet their requirements.

As for the 40 night perk, are you talking about 40 nights at that specific hotel? 40 nights in a single year? 40 nights ever at Marriott hotels? I've never heard of the 40 night thing, but I have heard of some hotels providing small trinkets for persons who have stayed a significant number of nights at that hotel. I had that happen to me at the Wuhan Ren after I had stayed there about 75+ nights in about a year's period. But that is up to the hotel itself, not Marriott and there is nothing forcing them to give you anything. So if they do, great. Enjoy it and thank them. If they don't, enjoy your stays and thank them for those instead.