Like others have said, I'd like to know what restaurant this was -- not so that I would avoid the place myself next time, but perhaps it gives context into why the waiter behaved the way they did.
Originally Posted by
milepig
... told me I was using the wrong piece of cutlery
I've been to restaurants where every detail of the meal was meticulously planned, including the right types of flat and silverware. I've also been to Texas barbecue where only knife is provided, no fork, and they proudly say so on the blackboard. I guess both instances can be interpreted as "snooty" in their own right. Or, there are more reasons behind them such that, whether you agree with them or not, that's the way they want their food to be eaten.
Originally Posted by
milepig
... made a huge show of placing it over the spot. No discretion, and I felt like I was put on display.
Could the waiter be actually providing "service"? A stained tablecloth might be interpreted as a distraction from the food, and the waiter might be reprimanded if they overlooked it. Some diners do complain about inattentive waitstaff for a matter like this. I personally don't like excessive "service" like that, but some chefs demand it from their waitstaff.
Again, I'm inclined to believe that there is more context behind your observations, but still, sorry to hear that your experience was made unpleasant by them.