Your example of spilling a tiny drop of sauce on the tablecloth reminds me of a scene involving a snooty waiter-- and an excellent comeback from a patron-- I learned from when I was a teenager. My parents and I were dining with a handful of highly educated gentlemen at a reception. One began to eat his soup while his napkin was still folded on the table. A waiter swooped over, grabbed the napkin with an exaggerated flourish, and whipped it open with a snap! to place it in the man's lap. The man made an equally exaggerated, whole-body flinch and in loud voice proclaimed, "Oh, dear, no! I never use napkins!" People stared at the waiter as if he'd just brandished a weapon and then snickered at the whole scene. The waiter left the napkin on the table, and the man quietly placed it on his own lap.