Sounds like you have fairly fixed dates, but maybe flexible on the pieces after the wedding (FCO onwards)?

90K Amex per person for Emirates FCO-MLE, even with a stopover in DXB, is very pricey. For example, AA won't allow a stopover, but FCO-AUH-DXB on Etihad would be 30K per person in business and DXB-AUH-MLE would be 25K per person in business. So you get a functional stopover, albeit with a connection each time. Or you could do your "stopover" in Abu Dhabi instead of Dubai. This would require another 10K AA miles, but you have time.

Another option for the US-Europe flight (I think this one will be the toughest, especially if you are counting on AA miles, so it's good to have backups) is Aeroplan, which charges 45K for SFO-FCO in J. As long as you fly on UA, TK, SK, SN, or SR, there are no fuel surcharges. Delta could also be an option with their Alitalia partnership. Also, keep in mind that Iberia availability doesn't show up on aa.com. They serve LAX, ORD, MIA, and JFK to/from MAD, so that could be a 2-stop itinerary to Rome if necessary. If availability is tough, yet another option is using DL miles to get to London on Virgin Atlantic, then BA Avios for LON-FCO. I single out Virgin Atlantic here because I generally find their availability much better than DL's own metal.