I have to admit that whenever I'm in Knoxville on client business, I end up going to the outlets in Sevierville. We then usually take the "scenic" drive back through Pigeon Forge for the pure kitsch factor.

My favorite sight is the Girls Dress Outlet. Tons of those Shirley Temple-style, twenty pounds of nylon, lace, and tulle little girl pagent dresses strung outside the store to entice drivers by... every time I look and expect to see John and Patsy Ramsey come walking out of there.

And what is with every motel advertising "Private Balconies" on their marquee... even Hilton and Marriott properties do it. Is this something unique to the Smokies? I find it SO odd. One day I counted no less that FORTY "private balcony" signs (like other motor courts would advertise HBO or Swimming Pool).

This really is a see it once because you won't quit talking about it sight!