Welcome
If you want her to say yes, don't put her on Rouge.
If you hate your mother in law, by all means, put her on Rouge

There is no such thing as phoning in and requesting, when phoning in, you need to know exactly what you want

Common tool for availability is United.com, just look for the blue saver awards

Your status will be of no use/relevance.

As for #1, you'd have to arrange that with the crew onboard, but don't be surprised if they don't participate.