MGM's spa is my favorite. It is classier than the Venetian's and has treadmills with Internet access for reading FlyerTalk. The men's Jacuzzi is large, hot, and ferocious, and the eucalyptus steam room is kept one degree below par-boil. Put some cucumber slices over your eyes and an ice-cold towel over your head, then use the hot shaving cream and complimentary Gilette twin-blade disposable for the best shave of your life.

They provide gym clothes and robes. Munch on a dried apricot and watch CNN while waiting for your massage and pedicure in the private lounge with Tiger Woods.

Ahhhhhh.