Are you Mary from Mousesavers? If so, I'm glad I can return the favor of information sharing. Your site is wonderful. We leave next month for WDW! If not, forgive this sidebar. ;-)
"I'm hoping that November is slow season & Maui won't be loaded with kids. I'm leaning toward Kaanapali and my husband wants Wailea, thinking it may be quieter."
We stayed at Kapalua Bay (Starwood resort) last Sept for our honeymoon. It was VERY quiet and peaceful. I only recall seeing children twice (at the pool) during our entire 6 night stay. The resort is showing a little age, but I would not hesitate to stay there in the future. Kapalua Bay is excellent for snorkling and the beach wasn't nearly as crowded as the beaches in Kaanapali and Wailea.
Many say the weather in Kapalua isn't as favorable (more rain) as Kaanapali or Wailea, but we didn't have any rain.
Kapalua is about a 30 minute drive to Lahaina, and 20 minute drive to Kaanapali. Not much in Kapalua, but you're only about 10 minutes from Napili/Kahana where there is a strip mall and a couple restaurants (inluding Roy's - very good!). We also ate at Maui Tacos in Napili a few times for a quick, inexpensive, and tasty meal.
Obviously, I'm not a local, but I recall Nov/Dec being whale watching season, when they are all around the islands.
Have a great time. I can't wait to go back!
hockeystl