Does anybody hear share my love of Bill Bryson?
I quote from "A short history of everything", chapter 20 "Small Worlds"

If you are in good health and averagely diligent about hygiene, you will have a herd of about 1 trillion bacteria grazing on your fleshy plains - about a hundred thousand of them on every square centimeter of skin. They are there to dine off the 10 billion or so flakes of skin you shed every day, plus all the tasty oils and minerals that seep out from every pore and fissure. You are for them the ultimate buffet, with the added convenience of warmth and mobility thrown in. By way of thanks, they give you B.O.

It's gross. And hilarious. I love that man.