This was an hilarious read. Most here are well seasoned travellers most of whom know that there will be cultural differences encountered along their travelled path. Americans, amazingly, once out of their own country expect to find bits of American culture in all other nations. Having lived in Germany for quite a number of years I found that the German mind set was more akin to the mind set of the northeastern US, particularly the NYC/NJ 'attitude' (where I was born and raised) and Germans base their lives on being orderly. They expect others to adhere to those rules as well. As for nudity, most Europeans do not have the stigma about nudity that Americans have developed. Once you can get your attitude in tune with your host country's attitude you will relax and enjoy.
I recommend, upon a visit to Germany, travelling to Baden Baden for the luxury of the Friedrichbad - 3 -4 hours of pure relaxation in the NUDE.