This is an interesting mix of the profound and the trivial, the humorous and the serious, but what you really need is a good woman. With that, being gainfully and professionally employed won't be so bad, even in Cleveland. And children are way better than a dog. They change your life -- for the better. I have a certain insight here . . . .
"Safety is global; grammar apparently is not." Nice quip. If it means anything to you, this travelogue is even better than the first. You've obviously got talent enough to light up a room. So surely you've got the common sense to put it to good use, right? (Hint: See my first paragraph.)
Good luck!