I hear you. I can't stand the beach but the wife, that's a different story.... I don't tan AT ALL, just burn, and can't stand being hot and sweaty. In addition I always seem to be the target for every biting insect that lives out its miserable life on the beach and I physically hate the feeling of sand stuck to my skin with suntan cream. It is pure torture for me. Hopefully you'll be able to enjoy a few drinks and snooze the day away under an umbrella. Ah what a waste oF time!