Originally Posted by
Perche
I couldn't get my mind around his dislike of tiny portions, stuffy restaurants, and star quality food because I don't think those are appropriate filters when searching for good restaurants in Italy.
^^ I couldn't agree more.
Whereas we all have our own takes on the world, our esteemed on-line community relies on those who have 'been there and done that' offering the benefit of their experience. If the person offering the advice also has a broad understanding of the cultural background of the person asking advice, this could further enhance the validity of the reply. So, if I were a visitor to Rome, and an Italo-American who has spent a lot of time working there offers advice about the city, I would definitely be reluctant to challenge it.
If I were looking for a special restaurant in Rome I'd probably not go for a top-20 TripAdvisor recommendation, as I'd assume (perhaps erroneously) that it'd be full of tourists – (not a problem in itself); pedlars disturbing my romantic meal by trying to persuade me to purchase a long stemmed red rose for my wife; and (horror of horrors) roving minstrels playing Roman music at full volume and serenading my wife with such evergreens as 'Volare' and 'Tu vuò fà L'Americano' whilst my body language goes into overdrive gesticulating the message: "No – I am not going to give you €10, so go away now and hassle that couple with the long stemmed red roses on that table over there!"
If I were the OP and had a few days in Rome before the special evening, I'd take a stroll around the city and eventually take a punt on a place with a decent looking menu in a great location – and would make sure that if eating 'al fresco' were not an option, the place were not too brightly lit. Unless you're unlucky, you won't be served a poor meal in Italy.
[For the record, I am British, my wife is American, I spent 20 years of my adult life living in Italy (in Genoa, Rome and in the Turin area), and now spend over three months of the year working in the Turin area.]