Originally Posted by MP Premier

I've traveled with my 24 year old handicapped daughter, wheelchair bound, by air and land for 20 years. We plan out everything in advance, utilizing airport and aircraft accommodations when necessary, and appreciate the help that is offered and given by most all air and ground crews. For the most part, we board in the pre-board group, and having had some decent status, had good seats, or used the airline's handicapped seating when available.

We use a manual wheelchair which comes apart, can be broken down, and then gate checked. I personally carry my daughter (70-85 pounds) into the aircraft and seat, usually because its just much easier because I know how and where to carry her. Because she sometimes is hooked up to IV and feeding tubes, we also have to deal with her two pumps and bags. That is why my wife and I are a team when we fly, and if my two sons are with us, they help with all the other gear (2 carryons, daughter's personal and medical backpacks, and then their own gear).

We talk to and explain to all crew that we know what we are doing, have done it before, and can efficiently get seated in a reasonable period of time. Most aircrews (UA is what I usually fly, but also Alaska and Air Canada) appreciate this, and offer us help if we need it, and it frees them up to do their other tasks or assist other passengers. We appreciate the space, the time, and the compassion of the crew, and other passengers as we pre-board. It takes a bit of work to get my daughter into her seat, buckled properly, and her medical gear correctly positioned out of the way. We try to get most of it done in the 5 or so minutes pre-boarding gives us before the first boarding calls are done. If that happens before we're finished, we work around boarding passengers as best we can, trying not to be any impediment to their own needs.

Now, it sure helps that my daughter is a cute kid, generally well mannered with a beaming smile, and although she doesn't speak well, she makes good eye contact. I also and regularly bring some pastries and other goodies (chocolates usually) for the flight crew (even when flying alone) to show my appreciation of their hard work each and every flight. You know, a bit of kindness, like karma, goes around and comes around.

When we deplane, unless there is a known and real tight connection, we wait till everyone else is off the plane. It is a courtesy to all the other passengers, and it is much easier for us. Certainly by that time, our wheelchair has been delivered to the jetway or ramp, and I can take my time putting it back together and ready for use. Then my wife and I gather my daughter and her gear up, and we carry her to her chair. Once settled, we then go back to retrieve our stuff and fully deplane. In smaller airports, I will carry my daughter out of the regional jet, down the ramp, to the tarmac if that's what it takes. If given notice, the gate crew always escorts us if there is no jetway and another accessible entry or elevator is needed from tarmac to gate.

For us, carts in the airports and aisle chairs are more difficult for my daughter due to her cerebral palsy and poor motor control to sit. They are welcome for others who need the assistance, like my 78 y/o mother.

IMO, the vast majority of family who fly with their disabled dependents pretty much know how to manage them best, and keep them calm, comfortable, and avoid accidents and complications. If the airline policy is to allow family to board with disabled and their direct caregiver family, then that is what it is, an accommodation and a privilege given. Sure there can be abuses, but it is a relatively rare occurrence, IME.

When you see someone with an "obvious" handicap, like a lost limb, frailty, personal wheelchair, etc. it is (mostly) easy to be courteous and allow them the accommodation they get. For others, their handicap is not always visible, yet it exists nonetheless. If they have identified themselves to the airline and airport as needing handicap accommodations, please understand they felt there was a need, and some of us actually carry the medical flight papers from our doctors (just in case) to prove it.

The fact that our population is rapidly aging should give pause to us FF that are also aging. Many of us flew a lot in the 90's and 2000's, and want to keep on flying, even though its a bit more physically demanding. Please don't decide that somehow you are the one who should decide who can fly and who can't. You may end up being someone with an acquired handicap someday, and need just that bit more time or help to enjoy flying again. That someone may also be you, with family who wish to help and be with you too.

A bit of compassion and outward karma can go a long way.