We're doing EWR-PEK with a 3 year old and while we really wanted to do the J thing, we are convinced that 3 J seats would be a total waste, so we're opting for Y+ as well. We're saving our miles for a real family vacation years int he future.
A friend of mine who travels with toddlers also used the word "Survival" to describe it.
That said, this thread was very useful to me as well, as it confirmed we made the right decision.