We've been doing US-Jpn and US-HKG over and over with our kids ever since they were born. As an adult, I have no flight time preferences strictly from jetlag standpoint. So with us, the question of jetlag and sleep mainly only regard our kids. We've taken different departure times (including all of the timeframes you list below), and we've always sort of tried to plan our kids' sleep/nap time leading up to the flight accordingly. Mind you, our kids are still much younger than yours. You don't have that type of control over an 11yo. Anyways, with that in mind, here's our experience...
Originally Posted by
charlesfromage
1) Leave SFO at 11:15, arrive Narita at 14:10
Kids tend to stay awake for the first half of the flight. They'll dim the cabin for much of the flight and our kids usually sleep for at least a few hours, charging them with enough energy to last at least a few hours after they land at NRT.
Originally Posted by
charlesfromage
2) Leave SFO at 19:25, arrive Haneda at 22:45
This is similar to SEA-HND on DL, and we've done this a couple times now. I believe this is really the best option from kids' jetlag/sleep standpoint. Kids sleep much of the flight, and yes they'll be up for a while after checking into the hotel late at night. But you still find yourself tired enough from the travel and you/kids will end up falling asleep for a few more hours again only to wake up again fairly early Jpn time for a fresh start to basically a full day.
Originally Posted by
charlesfromage
3) Leave SFO at 1:35, arrive Haneda at 4:45
We often do this time slot for flights from SEA/YVR to TPE/HKG. Our kids get fair amount of sleep and we get to our hotel in HKG at a fair time (9~11am). Then we're usually able to enjoy our much of our first day in HKG although kids get tired by mid-afternoon. But I don't know how this will work out for you, as your flight will be shorter and arrive at HND at a pretty inconvenient hour.
So in summary, I like #2>#1>#3.