I don't understand what the deal is that the wife has to be flown in the higher cabin. As a joke, fine, but in reality and seriousness? I can't imagine my partner being angry with me that I'm fortunate enough to have a job where my employer flys me in J, and that if an employer bought a seat for me in J, I would be expected to give it to her, unless we were so wealthy that there is no financial incentive to book us and our (hypothetical) children in J instead of Y (which we are not; perhaps we'll be in better shape after she is done with dental school).

If there is any possible detrimental impact for me at work, my partner would in no way want, much less expect, me to risk that so she can sit in a fancy seat for a few hours. There's plenty of nice things I can (and do) do for her without risking myself getting fired.