For whatever reason, you seem determined to misinterpret the responses which followed your original question. Whether you are doing so wilfully or not, is hard to say ; but the fact remains that you are painting yourself as some sort of victim where there is no need.

The two key objectives behind your post were
a) to ask forum members whether the particular loo your wife wanted to use was for F or J pax, and
b) to comment on what you felt was a rude attitude shown by an FA towards your wife.

As far as a) is concerned ......the clear consensus is that the loo just ahead of the J cabin is indeed for the exclusive use of F pax.

With regard to b), a number of posters have also stated that if the FA was indeed discourteous to your wife, then this is wrong.

From this you have somehow deduced that "some fellow FT-ers feel prompted to b*tch on my wife or me" : a rather odd conclusion to say the least In fact, I'm struggling to find any evidence of personal criticism, and the posts have revolved around people's own experiences and thoughts about the loos, signage, and relevant incidents occurring on various flights.

I suspect what has happened here is that you simply don't like the factual answer that was given in response to your query. But that's no reason to shoot the messenger - or, in this case, several concurring messengers.