I don't think it's that bad, Pin. I've found noticeable differences in best practices between Maryland and Virginia; it's not so ridiculous to think that there might be unforseen factors in play when traveling from Texas to an island state that's almost as far from the mainland as Los Angeles is from New York.
And I would say that the amount of cash you take on an Ohio trip depends on where you're going in Ohio. Cash is generally more important in rural areas than in major cities everywhere in the country, so a few days in farm country where you'll be far from the nearest ATM would require more cash than a few days in downtown Cleavland or Toledo.
Including the smirk?
My credit union still sells travelers checks, though I haven't used them myself in many years.
Seriously, though - after all of the hounding and ribbing you've taken in this thread, would you consider learning how to use an ATM and adding that to your skills toolbox? It really is a necessary modern skill, and there is no reason to be nervous about it.
It's like learning to drive with an automatic transmission. Sure, you may still
prefer to drive stick, and maybe your own vehicles are all stick, but it's a vital modern skill to know how to drive automatic and to have at least some practice at it. Same applies to ATMs - you may have no need of them at home, but as you've seen in this thread, when you travel (at least domestically), using ATMs is far safer and more secure than carrying a wad of cash with you.