So I've been out here in California tasting wines almost every day--making it to three or four wineries each afternoon after I take care of work and other things. Invariably, of course, each winery attempts to sell me on their club membership while I'm finishing my last tasting, but it's very easy to quash that sales pitch with six simple words: "Thanks, but I live in Pennsylvania."

In every case, their faces have instantly fallen and they have shaken their heads with a knowing, pitiful expression, saying, "Yeah, not much we can do for you, then."

I really should get a UPS Store box in Delaware or something. Bonus: order stuff shipped there and it's tax-free!