[Note: I am specifically excluding restaurants in the US, where the service is almost universally quick and efficient]

When I ask for the bill / check...

... it means I'm ready to pay and leave. I'm finished. I'm not ordering anything else. I want to go. And once I do pay and leave, the restaurant can get another diner seated at my table.

All things considered, it seems like a good idea to present the bill / check (I'm going to use "bill" from now on), take the payment and get me on my way.

Over the last couple of years I have noticed that I am often kept waiting once I ask for the bill and when I do get it, I am kept waiting again for someone to accept payment. This seems counterproductive. And I find it frustrating.

Yesterday, just to see how long it would take, I waited 20 minutes after I received the bill before I actually got up and asked if someone would take my payment as my saint-like patience had run out. (Yes, it was a pay-the-waiter/waitress place)

At one restaurant that I frequent (because the food is the best in the locality), I have taken to asking for the bill as soon as my meal arrives. This way, I have a fighting chance of being able to leave at a time of my choosing.

Wait staff seem to avoid passing near the table and go to seemingly comical lengths to avoid eye contact.

It doesn't seem to matter if the restaurant is busy or quiet, or if I am in a window seat making the place look busy, or in an out of the way corner and I always make it obvious that I am ready to pay - with credit card on the table / dish / poking out of the bill holder.

This happens so often, I wonder if it is becoming a trend? Or maybe it's just me?

What I'd like: When I ask for the bill, that it is presented within a few minutes of being asked and that payment is taken a minute or two later. Is that too much to ask?