My flight attendant friend had bugged me for years to go to Puerto Vallarta. I wasn't so sure if I would like it, but he insisted it was great fun. This summer, I finally relented and booked a trip for New Years week.
I had a hard time finding something for 5 nights with a lap pool, as most placed wanted a minimum 7 nights and had no large pool. I ended up booking the Crown Paradise Golden Resort as the price seemed right. Oh boy, was that a mistake...

I arrived on Monday and immediately felt this place was not for me. I was in the middle of nowhere, far away from the action (GLBT-style), and very noisy at night. As it was an all-in, I got an armband, which I insisted upon to be loosely wrapped (I am not gonna wear it outside the resort). Had dinner and later that night went out for fun (or so I thought).
The next day, checked out Puerto Vallarta, swam at the lap pool and had Tuna steak for dinner...big mistake.

The next morning, Wednesday 12/31, my stomach felt funny and thought I just needed some food. Ate a banana and went on my snorkel tour to the Marietas Islands (more on that later).

Later that evening, I got stomach cramps but still wanted to go out. Went to La Noche around 11 pm, but could not sit still due to the increasing pain. Finally decided to go back to the hotel and lie down.

The next morning, I woke up, smelly, and found out that my intestines had decided to completely flush out. OMG!
Ripped all sheets from the bed, called room services, and started cleaning the mess myself.
It took two more days for my body to settle and feel better again. Suffice to say I refused to eat at the hotel any longer.