JDiver

OK, here's the deal - on the installment plan.

The property is rebadged from a Holiday Inn, and the constant and actual owner also owns the local Hilton. It's popular with holidaying families, foreign tourist groups and occasional events include receptions, etc.

Getting here from the airport will take 10-15 minutes once you've secured a taxi in the queue; it'll cost you a lobster (AUD $20 bill - it's red).

Location is backing on The Esplanade bayside and perhaps a mile from the cruise ship and excursion piers (the Hilton is just past that). The seven floor property is laid out like an "8" with the doors facing inward, windows out. In the centres of the 8 are two tropical atria; the atrium nearest the lobby has a pool with some healthy, large barramundi fish and a floating plastic crocodile head. (Yes, crocs are nearby - a river trip will reveal them, and once the rains begin you might see one roadside.)

Renovations (remember, though the property rebranded, it's still the same owner), to this property seem to have been liberal application of paint mainly - all pastels, and the light olive inside building walls and slightly contrasting doors and door frames make the appearance somewhat institutional, IMO. The room interiors are also pastels, but much brighter, with a couple of pseudo-impressionis mass produced colorful (reds and oranges) on the room walls.

The immediate area include lots of foliage, which harbour large numbers of active birds. These are loud to raucous, and the lights at night assure you will hear all kinds of squawking, shrieking etc. Bring. Ear. Plugs. One will find several newspapers available gratis in the lobby.

Arrived an hour before check-in and was wekcomed and accommodated in my seventh floor balcony room, the view of The Esplanade southward including the cruise port. I was given two water bottles in the fridge, a fruit plate to the room, told breakfast was included. (Continental is AUD $20, fairly decent if mediocre buffet..... both Western and Asian, and a coffe maker that grinds as you watch. One doesn't need chits; the hostess keeps a breakfast list.

The rooms are laid out in the figure 8 from x01 clockwise to x39. These both are closest to the elevator and are worth avoiding. The room access is via outside corridors, laid out as on the inside of a large figure 8, as mentioned. Whilst much of it is sheltered by rooms, there are areas fully exposed to wind and rain if they come from the proper direction.

The bedroom is modestly spacious in harmless, bland earth pastels, mostly done in light beige and white, with large balcony with plastic chaises accessed by large sliding glass doors. The glass is not double pane, so I can hear the loud folks (a lot of raucous young people out there - sounding like they're Schoolies (they are, as it turns out), at and around the RSL (Returned Service League) across the street (non-members welcome to sign in ' I had a lamb roast with veg, potatoes for $15 AUD all in, non-member rate). Soundproofing isn't a strong suit here - I've heard the guy next door crank out prodigious belches and other assorted hacks, cries and sounds, and groups chatting and laughing as they walk by. It's noisy here. And definitely lots of non-melodical bird sounds. The curtains are definitely not blackout curtains.

The room itself includes a low bureau with two large and ine small drawer, niches for a hot water pot and ice bucket, and mini fridge. On top, an LCD television. Adjacent is a desk with Ethernet and a desk lamp, with a meduocre task chair. The king bed is OK, with a thin duvet and several pillows and there is a grotesquely uncomfortable armchair with straight back at 90 degrees from the seat, with a round ottoman. These are in light brown to contrast with all the white. It's all fairly clean and kept up. WiFi is normally AUD 14.95 for 24 hours, access by Docomo, usable but variable signal (in my room, decent enough for WiFi phone calls with my US T-Mobile handy - 3 Mbps down, 1 Mbps up.)

The ungraduated wall thermostat controls the fan speeds for the central heat and air, but the thermostat doesn't do much - the fan control will be your main influence for temperature control. At the same setting, the temperature ranged between 71 and 78 Fahrenheit. There's adequate lighting.

The closet contains an ironing set, towels for the downstairs outdoor pool, and an e-safe. No beaches, mostly muddish flats at low tide, but there's a huge publuc lagoon pool (those swimming in the ocean would quite possibly encounter the common box jelly (Chironex fleckeri) or "stinger", potentially lethal. And the hotel has a pool.

The bathroom is small if functional, with a shower bath with a hinged glass partition half the tub in length. The two button toilet often needs to be flushed twice. Amenities are solely Citron hand and bath soap and body lotion. Toweling is good.

Laundry is expensive; there are washer dryer sets on the lower floors. There is a two computer Internet room (more a joke than something useful, and be sure to use Chrome as Internet Explorer is near useless on these) off the lobby (no printer), which passes for a business centre and fitness center (the workaround for my boarding passes was to e-mail them as PDFs to Tavis M. at the front desk to print; awkward, but the staff here are helpful and will try to help you out). There is a tour desk staffed with people eager to sell you a variety of tours (and earn their commissions).

The restaurant is fair, and like much in Cairns, pricey. Of course a few blocks of walking will take you past a number of Esplanade restaurants and down to the port and more restaurants. Tourist food including "fair dinkum Aussie tucker" servings of crocodile, kangaroo and if you're lucky, emu, is common, barramundi and prawns are ubiquitous, and you can find Turkish, Vietnamese, Indonesian and more. (The bargain restaurant and pub is the RSL on the n.e. corner.)

The hotel bar is presided over by affable polyglot Damian, originally from Netherlands. Thete is a bottle shop Esplanade side for beer, wine, etc.

Of course, it's Australia, so there's a 1.5% charge is made for paying your bill with any credit card (not a forex fee, rather a legal credit card use fee passed into law).

Executive summary: OK location, reasonable comfort, helpful staff but definitely a centre for bus tourist groups and severely lacking in soundproofing. Avoid low floors and connecting rooms. NOISY!