Originally Posted by
perthflyer
I'm a bartender/server and have worked in several different venues and have never encountered a colleague who has felt awkward or had any qualms when faced with a solo-diner.
Originally Posted by
braslvr
Having dined alone several hundred times, I cannot remember even one time when there was any awkwardness on the part of any restaurant employee due to the fact that I was dining solo.
These capture my thoughts pretty well. I have some friends that are lifers (>20 years) in the restaurant industry as both bartenders and servers and have dined solo about a thousand times. I've never heard a single person that had any significant issues with solo diners, with two exceptions. The first is restaurant staff needing to deal effectively with
customers that have some major emotional problem about dining alone. The second is restaurant staff that don't like serving a single person because of reduced tips.
Originally Posted by
braslvr
I also have never noticed a reduced level of service. Often it's markedly better.
I've seen marvelous service, horrible service, and everything in between. Sometimes the server will go out of their way to be friendly/attentive and sometimes they are in a horribly rude, typically related to the "one person = small tip = rush them out ASAP" attitude.
Originally Posted by
braslvr
I seriously wonder if this is a perception issue related to personal feelings about eating alone. I certainly have known many who do not like it, and a few who WILL NOT do it, to the point of missing a meal. Deep strong feelings on this issue for sure.
^ (highlight mine)
IMO, people's self-esteem and insecurities about eating alone is the greatest factor. For example, a coworker feels everyone is looking at her a thinking she is a loser if she would dine alone. She thinks she's a loser too. The result is she refuses to dine alone unless there is no viable alternative. She won't even get take-out if she has to walk into a public place to get it. To avoid her emotional issues in these situations, she will get room-service, pick up drive-through crap, or grab something up at grocery store and literally hide in her room where nobody can see her eating alone. It's truly sad.
I just can't imagine why some people's self-esteem is so low that they will hide in their room and eat crap rather than be seen dining alone. I see this occasionally at restaurants when people respond to the "party of one" question by cowering and meekly saying "It's just me."
Originally Posted by
negs
(clipped)
...this often works for me: Me: "I'm traveling solo tonight, but I'm still hungry. I was hoping that you could still feed me." Host/Hostess: (with obvious look of relief): "Of course!!" I've communicated that I'm dining alone, and not made it awkward for the host/ess to raise the question.
I love dining with others or alone. I prefer dining alone quite often; it allows me to focus on the food, time to think about whatever, and time to relax. Your approach is similar to mine. Regardless of how the conversion goes, I speak up, in a very pleasant/friendly/comical way, and proudly say I'm dining alone.
Funny story (to me at least)... I was dining alone on travel on valentine's day. I went to a nice place that was was clearly a spot for "couples" on that particular evening. While I was dressed very well, being a single diner made me stick out like a pink mammoth in drag. I don't remember well enough, but I may have been the only single diner there. This still wasn't an issue; the waiter and I had a good laugh about it and he enjoyed having a patron that wasn't a gooey romantic making endless annoying requests. It was dining business as usual for me, but I'm sure many people would freak out in a similar situation.