OK back in Derby now
Summarising.
10 Oct. Forgot to wake up, missed breakfast, left Birmingham at about midday. Was doing a fair lick and looked like I'd get there in 4h30, then there was a crash on the A74(M) and a rolling roadblock between Lockerbie and Moffat Sat Nav found the Hilton OK. Went out to see the Clyde Arc. Glasgow city centre is hilarious. Hotel bar full of English tourists with ugly attitudes. Staff not phased and carried on being courteous long after I would have thrown them out.
11 Oct. Forgot to wake up again. Left about 11am, Sat Nav pointed to Balloch for starters. Had two false starts, ended up going back to the Hilton to work out how to increase the volume on the voice commands. Stopped in Arrochar and Inverary, then Sat Nav sent me back towards Arrochar but kept telling me to turn right into the Loch, it added "caution, restricted access" which was a fair point given I was not in a boat. Nice man in a snood told me the right way to Oban. Got there about 6pm. Stayed at BW The Queens, not as frightening as Jenbel intimated. Got upgraded to a big room.
12 Oct. Picked up some Swiss hitchhikers, took them to Fort William, carried on to the A86, picked up the A9 stopping in Blair Atholl which was nice. Sat Nav could not find the Waldorf Astoria Edinburgh, I felt like punching it, people at the side of the road bemused that I was swearing at the car. Kept sending me down the tram tracks too. Upgraded to a room with a view of the castle.
13 Oct. Had my first haggis for breakfast.Thought I'd be coming back down the A1 but random Sat Nav sent me as far as County Durham on the A68. Beautiful road and got Jedburgh as a bonus destination.
Only thing I would have changed would be I'd do the trip in reverse because all the parking spots to see Loch Lomond were on the other side of the road with some pretty hairy right turns.
Had amazing weather right up until 40 miles shy of Sheffield
Thanks once again for everyone's suggestions