Room service: I usually throw a couple of bucks on top of the service charge.

Maid: Really? Not a chance. Anyhow, I put up the DND sign the second I get in my room.

Valet: I usually tip a fiver to the guy parking it and a couple of bucks at the guy who retrieves it. The parker gets more as I don't want my car mangled.

Bellman: There is absolutely no way in hell that I would allow someone else to touch my bags. Ever.

Check-in staff: I refuse any offers to take me to my room and show me around. I've spent thousands of nights in all manner of hotels and I can figure it out on my own. Just point me in the direction of the elevators and my room.

Concierge: Why? I have the internet for that.