reading the judging by everything you've said about yourselves and what you'd like to do it would seem that NZ is a better bet for you. we've got all of the activities that you mentioned. november works well for most of the activities you mentioned, except maybe water based ones because it wont be overly warm and our water is quite cold even on the hottest days in the midst of summer

i am a kiwi and been to hawaii, however some years ago. i dont have overly fond memories of hawaii, just too darn touristy