I like the term "lounge asses"!
also: does the statement that "The Munich AB rep was not interested in any gold card status." mean that the OP assumes that airlines actively hinder/delay/slow down the search for luggage for regular pax, only expediting lost baggage issues when it becomes apparent that the passenger had status?
I would prefer to think that lost bags are all traced with equal vigour and alacrity. It is not something that should be expedited for status holders...