Time is running out for me, so called back again. This time the first person I spoke to said it wouldn't be possible to do a product change to anything other than Delta cards (and the others have AF as well).

Hung up, called again.
Got the same message but a friendlier rep who I managed to convince to actually pull my card up in the system and see what was available. Hilton showed up, so that's what I'm getting. Wish it could've been a more useful card, but hey, keeping the line and relationship alive is what it's all about.