So you're now saying strollers are generally okay on the train, or maybe you're saying strollers are okay as long as it's not rush-hour. My point all along has been that parents with strollers should be welcomed on trains, but that they should also exercise courtesy towards others and discretion such as avoiding rush-hours. But it seems like we're on the same page. As for the negative attention, you say you don't see it and that "we all accept" strollers on trains, but my experience has definitely been different. Is it possible that I'm exaggerating things in my head? It's always possible. But other people have said the same things... my sister-in-law, her friends, msiamsia. If I've spent a week in Tokyo with a stroller, we'd probably experience it once or twice. It's usually something along the lines of a person saying to me "I can't get by with this thing in my way" with a definite tone of attitude when she could've said to me "Sumimasen, I'm getting off here." Sometimes it's more subtle like stares. These are not during rush hours. We've always avoided rush-hour trains with strollers, but many lines (eg, Tokaido, Ginza) are always going to be pretty-well occupied at all hours. Anyways, I no longer do strollers, thank God.

I think even the Silver Seat compliance in Tokyo is somewhat questionable. But fine, if you're talking about Silver Seats, I do see folks being more conscientious about doing the right things. But how often do you see people give up a seat that's a regular seat? Okay, when there's someone who's using a cane and hunched over, then chances are someone would offer up a seat even in Tokyo. But in Boston and HKG, that courtesy would usually be extended to a whole bunch of other people... small kids, pregnant, people that are quite old but still perfectly ambulatory. I'm not saying these things don't happen at all in Tokyo, but it tends to happen far less than elsewhere. No one would offer my wife a seat on trains in Tokyo when she was pregnant. When we get on Yamanote in Nippori with 2 little kids and luggage, you can bet no one's getting up to offer a seat.

I agree that there's a lot of selfishness in America that you don't see in Tokyo. Jpn people are very considerate and very attuned to following rules (eg, lining up on platform and letting people get off the train first) and not imposing on others. You talk about the services provided by the train station staff in Jpn, and of course customer service in Jpn is second to none. On the whole, US falls short in all of the above departments, I get that. But there are things that people in Tokyo fall short on, as well. The manner in which people race to score seats on the train, people not giving up seats when they should, (as LapLap said) perfectly normal people lining up to use the tiny train station elevators so that people who really need it have to wait longer. Not saying Tokyo people are not kind. But they do lack a certain type of kindness, as compared to people in certain other parts of Japan or Americans for that matter.

Btw, Boston and SF are very different in terms of commute patterns and dependence on train. I can attest to that, having lived in both cities. Most of Boston area's population is in a lot more compact area (within Rt-128 corridor) and a lot more people commute via train into town (downtown, Cambridge, Longwood) rather than out. Bay Area's a lot more vast with no one single commute/work epicenters, and most people commute by car. Boston definitely has a train-commute culture, although of course not to the degree of Tokyo.

This is a good point.