I've only departed TXL and would rather have root canal surgery followed by a vasectomy reversal than go through that experience again. Was flying Air Berlin and granted, it was the end of a long travel year and this was my last long haul back to the US.

The queues were sort of all blended together between check in and then the security check point. When I got to check in, agent insisted I could only check one bag (despite being Emerald on OW). I was flying in Y. I actually showed him the page on my laptop, which only caused him to fly into a fit of rage. I had not started waving my arms at this point.

I decided to go to the Air Berlin service desk and see if there was some one more rational I could talk with. After I explain my minor issue, nice lady agent apologises and calls the surly man at check in and starts barking at him in German. He, obviously being no stranger to angry women barking in his ear, promptly barked back. It was quite exciting. My German is only rudimentary, but I could easily make out that the woman was basically telling him that she was going to take a bratwurst and stick it in parts of the mans body where bratwursts dont belong.

After the commotion died down, I asked the nice lady how much was it to upgrade to business class. I needed to lie down at this point. She tells me that Air Berlin have a special and that it would be such and such euros. I thought it was cheap. So I grabbed it.

Hoof back to check in, the same man with the personality disorder is waiting for me but his colleague checks me in. All went smoothly from this point. Until we had to clear security and then wedge ourselves into the chook pen they call a boarding gate. It was chaos.

But it was a pleasant ride home. The seats are a bit quirky but I was fussed over by 2 extremely gay german flight attendants, who I wound up with my check in story and who insisted on bringing me champagne every 11 minutes.