The OP's experience and subsequent feedback from customer services is unacceptable. Whilst safety is of course, the paramount importance, any traveller which pays (or uses a lot of Avios!) to fly in F are doing so because they are expecting a first class, premium service, and the only way that BA or any other airline can achieve this is by training their cabin crew in F in such a manner. Of course, this doesn't seem to represent F in BA generally, but rather, a couple of incompetent people.