eightblack

Do you remember that Die Hard Movie (I think it was either number Seventeen or Eighteen), where Bruce Willis' wife says to him...

"John, why does this keep happening to us...????"

Well, it's gone pear shaped again. I knew it was too good to be true.

Truth be told, all year, my travel has been very uneventful. Very little arm waving on either my part of that of the airlines.

So there I am a few weeks ago, whiling away the time on FT and I notice the MR thread. Some fool mentions UA has a cracker of a fare from BOS-SJU (is that the code, I forget)

Thinking I need to just top-off my UA account for 1K this year, I decide to pull the trigger. Had no idea where SJU is. A few keystrokes later and I work out its Puerto Rico.

So under some thinly veiled excuse for work, I kiss the kids and wife goodbye, tell them I am "off again for work" and head west. Sorry east.

Except I didnt.

The positioning flight to BOS was ok on AA. Nothing out of the normal.

A quick stop at the Hyatt in Boston last night (I really need therapy as I am under the pump with my Diamond requal so I stay there).

And then up before the sparrows and head back to BOS to catch my UA flight (BOS-IAH-SJU)

It's all too easy. Check in is a breeze, the gate is literally right beside the TSA checkpoint. And incidentally whats up with the TSA lately? They're treating me like my old man treated my brother-in-law when he came around to tell us all he was marrying my sister. As in he jumped for joy.

They're pleasant and now I get this "expedite" stamp or yellow piece of paper to wave at everyone. Except for the fact that the boots I am wearing and my belt still set the detector off. So am still having to go through in my underwear.

Anyway.

UA starts the boarding process and the entire flight is standing like well behaved farm animals behind their zone sign.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, were about to board the flight to Houston but we just wanted to let you know that there is severe weather and the flight is going to take 5 hours, so will be an hour late..."

It's still too early for me and it doesnt register. Then it hits me. I am going to miss my connecting flight to SJU. Which will screw things up completely.

5 hours. Are you kidding me. from Boston to Texas. I can nearly get to Europe in that time. I was thinking maybe it was Jeffs way of economizing and that he had instructed the pilots to fly on one engine. Maybe the pilot sent the wrong text to his wife by mistake - instead of his girlfriend. And now there was all matter of menopause waiting for him. Maybe he didnt want to get home.

But I know I did.

So I called the 1K desk. About as useful as a fart in a spacesuit.

Then I talk to the agent at the desk. She starts the finger tapping. What about Delta? Nope. What about USAir...?

And voila.

So here I am, outside the McDonalds, on Logans free wi-fi, telling you all this again. Am supposed to catch some flight to east jesus (Philly I think) and then connect on US Air to San Juan. No idea what time I will get in. No idea what I am going to tell the family.

Expect a middle age Asian man to be living in his pick up truck at DEN airport by mid next week.

I'm expecting a large Puerto Rican to be waiting for me, at the request of my wife to give me a damn good thrashing for being an idiot.

You'd think we'd learn after a few years...

More in a while. If I survive.