There's a Denny's in my town that regularly sends people to the hospital to get their stomach pumped. I'll send you the address if you want, and you "eat" there on your next visit. "Eat" there breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Go all out, and order a bunch each time. Just don't eat any of it and don't give any to the bums outside either. That'd just be mean.

Next day call your employer and describe how horrendously ill you've become from eating at one of their recommended contract restaurants. You read the reviews online about how the Denny's almost kills someone weekly, but you took one for the team to follow company policy. Graphically describe what you'd imagine to be the worse case of food poisoning ever; colors, smells, etc. Randomly yell incomprehensible things about volume of lower GI tract and having a newly found appreciation for the movie The Exorcist. Go to the point of asking them to forward your company life insurance info to your beneficiary. Ask to change your beneficiary to the company to set up a memorial fund so none of your coworkers ever have to eat at Denny's again. Ask them to put you on speaker phone with the whole office so you can tell your tale, and you can live on through your coworkers stories. Then, congratulate them on contracting Denny's to kill you.

You'll likely be back to per diem by the end of the week.