And my point is a valid point. I don't expect Marriot or United to kiss up to me because I have their credit cards. A lot of times I don't get my diamond status referenced at check in, not sure why people think it's such a big deal if their status isn't acknowledged, especially if they are staying with a chain a few times a year.

To get back on topic though, if you have earned gold and don't have it through a credit card you should call ahead at properties you want the upgrades at and mention your stays. My wife has had good luck at a couple properties when she mentions her stays when calling ahead of time at a property she wants upgraded at. I know the Bentley in Miami and Checkers in LA will give upgrade preference to guests with a lot of nights.

If someone is staying a lot of nights in a property they should get priorty in upgrades (whether it's gold or diamond).