It's important to remember that gratuities are voluntary and not obligatory.

I never let anyone try to intimidate me into paying for a service which I think has been sub-standard and if they want to cause a scene I'm willing and able to out-scene them.

This is why I think Tripadvisor, for all its faults, is a fantastic way to keep restaurants and hotels on their toes.

That and health inspectors. They're always my last line of defence when restaurant owners are particularly rude and their standards are poor. The inspectors will always find something wrong in a kitchen. Any kitchen.

Having said that I believe when service is outstanding there should be an equally appropriate response. I remember calling into a motorway service area very late at night on a long journey when my kids were young and starving. The kitchens had closed and the place was all but deserted but a kindly waitress quickly rustled up a snack for the kids and a cup of strong coffee for me. Later I sent a letter and a monetary gift for the waitress to the company's head office - their response made clear both they and the waitress really appreciated the gesture.