I've always been upfront in this situation, but you can also take the "my friend will be first to arrive, can you let them check-in on my behalf" line as well.

If it's a pre-paid room I've just said in a follow up email after booking that I'm booking for a friend as a gift so can they charge my card for the room and charge any extras to the person who's checking in. Then you at least get the credit card points for the room and your friend can give you the cash.

In my case I've always received the points. Some hotels definitely upgraded, but with some it's difficult to tell.

As far as I'm concerned if I'm paying for the room I should get the points, but other benefits should be at the hotels discretion.

Only ever had a problem at a Hilton (so not IHG - and most Hiltons have been fine too), where they cancelled the booking so I didn't get any points, refunded my card and then charged my friend for a new room (fortunately at the same rate). The other Hilton in town was happy to accept him on my account even though they knew I wasn't staying and gave a decent upgrade - so it shows it's not the chain that matters it's the management policies of the individual hotel.