Is Monterey close enough? They do a great job with elite upgrades, plus it's probably a nicer place to be with the kids anyway. Unless you're in San Jose on business and just having them tag along.

One time, many years back, I was in a similar situation only traveling alone. San Jose Marriott was sold out, Santa Clara Marriott was exorbitant, etc. I ended up staying all the way up in San Ramon and driving to my meetings in Sunnyvale all week, and found that I didn't mind the drive and really liked the hotel!