I don't want to plough in again, since as I said, it's not my call. However, all I can say is if my nieces or nephew was entrusted to my care for the summer, if then, I get 'remote instructions' that override my sense of responsibility to the child (not talking about right or wrong here -- we all have certain pre-judgements/ values, and that's what makes cultural exchange both interesting and frustrating at times) -- it would really, really upset me.

And more importantly, likely jeopardise future such trips. OP needs to be clear what the purpose of this trip was, and what his relationship with his in-laws is likely to be going forward.

Living with one's extended family can be frustrating, boring, argument filled etc, but the reason we do it is because of our implicit trust, and love.

tb