OK, I have been now living in China and Taiwan for almost a total of 6 years, each place has these squatting toilets. Over the years I have only had to use this type of toilet only a handful of times.

I plan carefully, I am aware of where all the sit down toilets are located.

Today however things did not go as planned.

I had a sudden and painful need to use a bathroom, KFC was closeby so I went there. They had the worst squatting type of toilet imaginable. There was feces on the door handle, the walls, floors was just nasty.

But I had to go.

I just don't know how to squat. I don't understand how catchers in baseball games do it without falling over. Without the hands not touching anything.

Well, to spare all the gross part, I missed and spoiled my pants.

Went home showered, threw away my pants and had to finish my errands when second bout happened.

I decided to run back home instead of using the nearest public bathroom but alas I was too late.

There went my second pair of Hanes.

I am now afraid to leave my house.

I am afraid of squat toilets.

I miss my Hanes.

rant over - now I feel better physically and emotionally.

Now how does one practise using squat toilets?