Kage:
Re. witnessing hindu ceremonies: This can be done on your own or with a driver/guide from any hotel, tourists are welcome and no problem to take pictures etc. Only need to dress properly in sarong. We were alone as only tourists, but this was a coincidence or due to the fact that it was taking place quite far away from the normal tourist places.
Re. dance performance at Kila: They organise different complimentary dance performances, larger ones like kecak only during full occupancy. Very low occupancy when we were there (four to seven villas occupied during the 8 nights stay), so no dance performances. I am absolutely sure that these performances are still traditional, and not "tourist shows" like towards the end at Uluwatu.