It didn't really have a filling but was slashed before baking and probably had some sort of condensed milk butter mixture stuffed in the slashes and then the coconut flake container upended on it

Very fragrant but also extremely messy to eat. I made absolutely sure that I had brushed all the coconut off myself, but still kept on finding ninja flakes popping up here and there during the day.
That coconut volcano sounds good, was it in SF Chinatown?
Ah yes, can definitely relate about the futility of keeping clean while eating those things! Condensed milk, that makes it so much richer than the usual coconut cream. Have you tried fried mantou and condensed milk?
As for the volcano, I can't find a picture of it, and the store may not exist anymore (it was six years ago), but the dessert might, in some form. IIRC, it was mostly fried coconut strips with batter. II don't RC, it was w/out batter. And yes, it was in the SF Chinatown.