Don't expect the hotel to be somewhere you want to hang out. Rooms are fine but are in low slung buildings spread out along the golf course. If you plan to eat breakfast at the hotel (and my memory is of a very pleasant restaurant), then ask to be in a building close to the main one.

Focus on the wonderful Monterey Pensinula and plan a lot of great activities. Take the 17 Mile Drive. Drive south along the Big Sur area. Go back into the Carmel Valley area with its wineries. See satori's suggestions for the drive. Take her to the Carmel Mission. Go to the Monterey Aquarium.

Also, take her out for some terrific meals. Here are suggestions assembled by FTers.

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/calif...ey-carmel.html