Non-stop is the way to go. Shorter time on the plane, no chance of missed connection, less chance of lost luggage.

The drive down to Monterey is only about 40 minutes longer from SFO, and you can always stop at Mickey D's if the kids are hungry or need a break.

Not really that much difference negotiating SFO vs. SJC, and the connection adds much more time than all of the above.

$0.02