It was a Vitamax, or maybe a VitaMeataVegamin. I accepted and chugged the proffered protein smoothie.

"What's the difference between this here $375 Vitamax and that there $39 Oster?"

"The difference is, the Vitamax emulsifies the food, it actually breaks down the cell walls."

I try to hold back peals of laughter. "Oh."

I did some quick calculations, factored in that I'm just not that big on smoothies, and figured it would be more cost-effective to take a cab to the nearest Jamba Juice every time I want a smoothie from now on.